A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his nuts. When the barman asks why, he says aaarrrr its drivin me nuts!

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not
allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he
would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the
ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss
might think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off. A few minutes
later the Boss came into the office and asked "What in the name of god
are you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of
days".

I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the
blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "...And where do you think
you're going?"

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!